Life As A Writer

Michael Daaboul. 26 y/o from Australia/Melbourne. Digital Designer & Creative Writer.

writing

Three Sheets To The Wind

Roommate 1: Is this what you're going to do all day? Drink?
Roommate 2: I'm going out tonight, so I'm drinking now so I don't spend $100 at the bar.
Roommate 1: You do this almost every night!
Roommate 2: So?
Roommate 1: You always come back home drunk, vomiting everywhere, makeup smeared all over the place, skirt riding up your butt and with your heels off.
Roommate 2: Yeah, whatever, I don't make a fool of myself.
Roommate 1: Yes you do.
Roommate 2: I don't remember, I'm not that bad.
Roommate 1: Well, let's go out tonight then, while you're sober and observe all the drunken people. I want you to see how they are.
Roommate 2: I'm not like that.
Roommate 1: Of course you're not, you never remember. So it makes it okay. This is exactly how you are.
Roommate 2: Well, I enjoy it okay; it's really none of your business what I do.
Roommate 1: You know, it kind of is my business when you come back home like you have been through a blender. When you're depressed all the time and resort to alcohol to save your soul.
Roommate 2: It does save my soul.
Roommate 1: It saves nothing. It's like a drug, it's only temporary. You feel like shit afterwards.
Roommate 2: Good, I have a moment of peace.
Roommate 1: You would have more moments if you worked on your problems.
Roommate 2: I'll have more, if I drink more.
Roommate 1: That's cool, you can keep doing that. You can keep drinking and hooking up with multiple guys and come back home in a mess. You can spend the next day with a raging migraine and complain to your friends how your life is so shit.
Roommate 1: Keep doing what you're doing. I hope you wake up before it's too late.
Roommate 2: Whatever, just having fun.
Roommate 1: That's sad then if that's your definition of fun.
I need validation. I have come to realise that my own opinions and what I believe in are founded by what everyone else thinks. It makes sense in my head, all these thoughts that I think are right, are right if you think so. I love you, but it’s only right if you love me too.
Michael Daaboul
I came back home, I turned the lights on and I noticed you’re gone. I know that you have gone. I don’t know if you’re safe, or hiding, or running away from your fears. I don’t know what to do, when I’m thinking about how I can get to you. There are all these walls around me and I can’t get through. I sit here, thinking about thinking. I look up at the lights flickering, if I said and did the right things to make you feel better, would it even matter, would you even still be here?
Michael Daaboul
I remind myself today that everything is normal, I tell everyone who is worried that they’re fine. I wish I could tell my old self not to worry, if only I can jump back in time and tell myself that everything will be fine, that I don’t need these negative thoughts in my mind. I wish I had someone like me today, to tell my past me it’s okay, everything will be okay! Everything will be just fine … before the old me jumped.
Michael Daaboul

Until One Day, It Hits

I don’t need to tell you this, but never be with a bad man.

Never give yourself away like you’re nothing.

I won’t need to remind you, but when the time comes, your heart will. Your emotions shouldn’t be ignored because they will yearn for what you need even when you have forgotten what you truly desire.

Never forget what you want, because when you do there will be no one there to tell you what you would have already come to know.

When you look at yourself in the mirror, it’s not about respecting who you are anymore, it’s not about anything you have ever come to know. It’s all about when you look deep into your eyes reflection and realise you were doing it all wrong.

Until one day, it hits you; your emotions have been so betrayed by you that you didn’t listen for one moment and when you feel like you did, it was too late.

I’m here to tell you … it’s never too late.

I can’t go where I want to be because I’m trying to reach out and no one knows I’m trying to reach out. When people look at me, I seem fine. I’m silently screaming for help even when I’m smiling at you. I’m crying inside, but on the outside I’m like sunshine. It’s raining, there are rainbows, but there are dark storm clouds and Category 7 hurricanes holding my hands. How will anyone know if I keep hiding from the inside, how will anyone know if I don’t make it back alive from the tempests that live inside my heart?
Michael Daaboul
When you feel too safe, when everything is secure, sometimes you forget about the danger. You become too comfortable and stop seeing the fire that once burned inside of you. Always remember. Always keep the fires burning. If the flame inside you starts to flicker, enclose it with both your hands and keep it warm. A fire that’s looked after will grow into a firestorm, nurture it and it will keep you away from peril and keep you warm. A fire that has died is engulfed in darkness and strangled by the cold to ever come back.
Michael Daaboul
It’s better to show more than to say more. It’s better to say things in action than to speak of worlds you couldn’t reach that are seldom travelled. Too often lies find shelter in aspiring words but have trouble thriving when you show what you mean. It’s better for me to kiss you, than to talk about kissing you. Sometimes, words are not enough to show how you truly feel. You cannot expect words to carry a palpating heart.
Michael Daaboul
It’s easy for me to catch you stabbing my heart when I look at you. I fear what you might do behind me, where I can’t see. It’s hard when your eyes can’t see that far, it’s harder when you have taken aim and fired an arrow straight for my heart that has pierced my back first. You see, this is why I need to trust you before we can continue, without trust, we’re nothing.
Michael Daaboul
Love her, don’t use her. Don’t kiss her if you don’t mean it. When she cries, hold her. You know what to do, don’t play games, don’t be that person, the world doesn’t need anymore players. The world needs more raw emotion, magic, and it needs people to believe again. Do you really want to be that person for the rest of your life, always playing games? It won’t be cool or funny anymore when you’re in your late forties playing a kid’s game. Don’t give her false hope, when you don’t want to be with her.
Michael Daaboul
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