Life As A Writer

Michael Daaboul. 26 y/o from Australia/Melbourne. Creative/Digital Designer & Writer.

The Darkest Ashes (From My Broken Body)

And I have declared that feelings are first
I hope you pay attention to what matters
As with the small things will never kiss you
And a fool will never see you through

If my body approves and my kiss a foresight of fate
With all the falling petals
That came from the flowers I sent
There’s no wisdom greater than
My heart’s beating torment

I have declared that feelings are for me and you
And if you decide to not love me so I will not love you
For everyday you do is another day I have forgotten you

I have reached up to the moon
The dead stars and the curious black crow
I have put my hand through fire
And saw the darkest ashes
From my broken body

And as far as I can reach to the unknown
I am carried by the dashing aching wind
Feeling your flaccid hands that brings me back to you

And here I am again curious by your heart’s decay
Of not loving me anymore but you insist I should stay
And little by little I will wander away

What is there to do?
What is there to see?
I don’t want to be stuck in the ordinary
I don’t want to be a victim of the routine.

I don’t want a 9 to 5 job
I want to be different.

I want to disappear into your arms
I want you to take me away.

Show me a place where no one has been
Show me the place where your heart has been.

Show me, you.

Show me what it’s like to dance between your legs
Show me what it’s like to touch you.

Michael Daaboul

Susie’s Sorrow

The curtain’s drawn on a dark, dusty room
That once was alive with the sound of voices
But when one voice chocked and never retuned
What lived and thrived had become an echo

An echo that drifts and never fades away
Resurfacing as a reminder of what once was
Where the memories explode with each drop of rain
And where the heart lingers and yearns for closure

What perished is gone yet its presence is here
Disembodied and robbed of what it was owed
To be here for today and to have a tomorrow
But where tomorrow will be one less reason to smile

One reason less for one imprisoned soul
That befriends a pillow that once rested and warmed
The one that remains but will never grow old
Forever to be wept for it is Susie’s sorrow

Written by Charles Daaboul

You Can Lie and Say That You Care

So I would rather sleep
Rather than being awake
Should I care should I not care at all
I rather not ask if asking is what I need

So I feel how this should be
Thinking about guessing how I should
Want to be or need or needing to be … loved
You can lie and say that you care

But I would rather sleep so I don’t feel
How can’t I feel when I’m in so deep
So when you go I may want you dead
Because I would rather feel
That no one else can have you

So I would rather sleep
And dream of a world
Where you are
So I would care
And feel like you still care
About me

Sometimes I feel
That nothing has changed
And you can tell me
What part of me you need

all for nothing (an epic poem)

My teacher wouldn’t give me my pen licence
Because my writing was too messy
All the kids got theirs
And I got mine last
The other kids wrote in blue
While I wrote in grey
I didn’t understand
The teacher was never happy with my work
When I went home
I took the piece of paper I wrote
And stuck it on my door
My sister thought my handwriting was nice
My father smiled
I had a white kitten
His name was Snowy
I knew no girls
They didn’t like me
I didn’t know why I liked girls
And my Mum would give me a kiss before I went to bed at night
And I thought the next day will be okay

My English teacher thought I copied my assignment from the internet
Because my writing was so good
He gave all the kids an A+
But didn’t question their work
But he questioned mine
Because it was strange to see me so bright
I went home
I took my assignment and put it in the bin
My sister didn’t look at my work anymore
My father stopped smiling
My cat got hit by a car
I still didn’t know any girls
They didn’t like me
My Mum would not be home at night
And I had trouble sleeping
I left the lights on

My lecturer thought I was a brilliant student
I created work that no one believed
But my lecturer didn’t know me
He had no bias when he looked at my work
He saw something new from someone with ability
No one saw that I had ability
They thought I was slow and stupid
An idiot
He gave me a high distinction
When I went home
I hid my work in a folder
On the highest shelf in my room
My sister got married and moved out
My father died
I stopped liking cats
I had a girlfriend but she didn’t like me
I felt dead she never kissed me
My Mum was never home
I was alone
All I did was write
And at 5 AM I tried to go to bed
But the pain kept me up all night

When I finished my education
I realised that I had learned nothing
I went into the real world
Afraid with no one to talk about anything
I couldn’t find a job
I didn’t know many people
I still didn’t know any girls
I was still heartbroken
And now I know nothing
I continued to write in my room
I wrote something that I thought would change the world
And I gave myself a high distinction
I worked out how to ease the pain with a blade
I was frozen
I put the piece of writing on my chest
As I slowly fell asleep I felt at ease
For the first time in my life
I was at peace

upside down maps

I’m holding a map upside down
Going backwards without knowing
I’m heading back into the same town
I can’t see where you’d be
Coffee marks on places you like are blurry
My mind falls into deep rivers

The noise is overwhelming
All bright lights are blinding
Your smile is amazing
All these miles away
I pray that someday
I’ll be wrapped around in your arms

So many places left untravelled
I hold your memories as fuel for hope
All the distances that’s left battled
Before I hit the ground I hold on to a thin rope
And I swing from left to right
My time is ending in silence
I’m not sure if this is right

Exhausted and defeated
We touched our hearts
Closing our eyes as were fading
Dreaming of a close place
The last time I was with you
Wrapped in your arms
As I swing weeping with my eyes closed
From left to right

I fall on the cold ground
Exhausted and defeated
Going backwards without knowing
The distance between you and me
I pray that someday
Your voice will break my silence

crossing. blank. space.

You held me together
Like glue I was the one
I took it all for granted
I never wanted to let go
Through the pain
And when you runaway
The world becomes
That much further away
I have this fear
I didn’t want to see
Trying to hold it together
Everything becomes separated
As I stand here
Watch it all fade away
The memories and the hell
Forget them all
They would love to see you fall
Hold it all together now
It’s not the time to go
Let it fade
But tonight, just hold it

It’s frustrating
When you’re being tested
The odds against you
And this pain leaving you broken
You know how it’s going to be
How it’s going to end
You’re working hard to make it right
The love and hope just don’t match up
You try to think smart
Deep inside your heart
You’re lost and all these thoughts won’t cut it
Despite your efforts
You can’t make it
You have come so far
And just like that
It falls apart
And you break it

the island

Stuck on an island with nothing to see
You can walk up to the sand
Standing next to a tree
Think about your future
Wearing something you have never seen
Feels a little surreal
In a place you have never been

Take a picture of the stars
They’re alive for a moment
In space playing their guitars
The music takes a hold of you
Feeling so new
On an island
That’s afraid of you

The sky drops a ladder
Right in front of you
Drops like feathers
In spite of all your failures

Take a picture of this scene
The rain falls between
Your dreams wiped
By a windscreen
Thinking about your future

The strangest thing happened
I was awakened
By the storm in front of me
Running away
Trying to break free

This island torn apart
Listening to Mozart
The strangest thing happened
He was a man
Without a heart
Tell me please
What’s this all about
A madman from the start

blind drunk melbourne

Drinking away your dreams, forgetting what you mean

Imported satisfaction, a losing dream

You’re angry at the fact you’re losing steam

Set yourself back several years

You’re young and you have no dreams

Drinking satisfaction, you’re losing sleep

You have no one, not a single fleet

Your senses bombarded, you’re a losing cheap

You’re young and you’re tired

You’re ending, your drinking has expired

You’re the blame, a miserable sheep

You’re blind drunk in Melbourne

With no dreams, you’re losing sleep

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