I’m surprised about one thing though, you never listened to me. When everything was shown to you before, I just wanted you to be with me.
It is hard to think I even wanted you anymore, not when you couldn’t recognise how I used to be.
You left a note while I was gone clearing my mind from the dust. It was like a lyric extract from a song, which was no surprise, we used to always rhyme:
"I commit all of my time and day
Put all my words and what I feel for you
Out every second that went astray
I didn’t think that you could control me this way
But you tried to test me anyway
How you grew so far away from me
I feel like you didn’t take the time and day
You didn’t even see
How I committed myself to you in every single way
It’s like I was trapped never to be set free
Sometimes I feel like this won’t go away
Screaming in my soul like I had nowhere to go
I shouldn’t have trusted you anyway
Stuck in disbelief I should have known when to go
I shouldn’t have let you in
Somehow your heart is made of stone
I’m not the one that likes to sin
This time I’d rather be alone”
I told the wind that day it is because I wanted to feel what it is like, for once, to be me.
With all the stress I forget to breathe, I didn’t think I will live this way.
Sometimes I refuse to go away, if I couldn’t see it my friend, how slowly they took you away.
What used to remain before the day turned into night, all I knew that you were my friend, even after the main part was gone, how light turned into the darkness, somehow I saw how this would end.
I feel the pain when I hear your name, I tried to let you out of my mind. Nothing can distract me when it is the same kind of thing everyday.
I took a long walk outside; they say long walks clear the mind. No clouds in the sky to kiss the ocean that day.
I wanted to put you away, what I hated inside of me, I wanted to set it free and I told the wind it is because I wanted to feel what it is like, for once, to be me.
Our last breath, we know how valuable it will be. Time itself believes how a memory will fade.
Birds flying in the sky, everything feels so unreal in different shades … nothing really lasts forever.
I knew I had it coming, which is why I stayed so low. You walk along the city streets, watching if your shadow is being followed, my eyes crawling to the back of my head, anxiously waiting to get home.
I didn’t even realise how close you were … just in the same way I didn’t realise how I watched you go.
(to be continued …)