For all the world leaders who sit there in silence that say nothing and do nothing. Who start wars and don’t listen to their people.
For all the rebels and terrorists that think you’re doing God’s work and shattering human emotions.
For all the incapable nations that rise up against nations.
For all the rapes, abuse, the planes that get shot down, the wars that make it okay and justify ways to take life.
For every part of the darker side, you’re killing all the medics who are trying to save the wounded, all the journalists risking their lives to show us the news that’s in hiding, all the scientists that are researching to save lives and the parents and loved ones who are grieving for their murdered children, brothers, sisters, husbands, mums and dads.
You have failed us. You have broken our hearts, shattered our progress and repeated history over and over again. How do you still lead when you repeat mistakes over and over?
We trusted you to run governments to represent our views for a better life.
I want you to know about all the children who will never get to see another day in their lives. I want you to know what it feels like for a mother to never see her precious angel smile again or to hear their voice. You destroyed their future and their life. You shot down their hopes and blew up their dreams. What gives you the right to do that?
The children don’t understand what you’re doing. They don’t understand why there’s pain. They don’t understand why their kind is shooting at them. They don’t know why there’s blood coming out of their face, their soul. They trusted you to protect them. They trusted you. Instead you gave them genocide, soldiers with guns and tanks against children.
When you took aim at children playing on rooftops, did you know they were being children and enjoying their childhood? When you missed and they were running away, that fear embedded on every breath they took, you aimed again and got them. You single-handedly destroyed humanity. You fired at hope, at innocence and you took all of us out with them!
I hope one day we’ll wake up to a better world, where humanity is not devouring, illiterate bastards and we can walk to the graves of those innocent children that bled emotion, that didn’t understand what was going on and say sorry that we were unkind, incompetent human beings who denied them their right to live.
I don’t fear monsters in the night, I fear humanity and I fear the world we live in, people like you.
I will cry every night for these children because their pain and their parents pain hurts too much for words to carry. Human emotion has a way to express this heartache where no words dare travel; by our tears, when it’s too much, we breakdown.
I wish we could have been better for you, I wish mankind would have given you the chance to see the world we love and protected you.
I wish things were different.
When you leave, I won’t let you go so fast. I will stop you, turn you around and look into your eyes. I’ll smile and kiss your lips. I’ll ask you not to go; while knowing that’s not possible. But I say it anyway.
I’ll hold your hand when we walk because I like to feel your skin on mine.
I sometimes get teary because I can’t believe I found someone like you, when you ask why I’m crying, I try to hide it and respond by telling you I was just yawning.
I get excited when we have breakfast together, and I don’t know why, maybe because it’s two of my favourite things.
I don’t need to tell you this, but never be with a bad man.
Never give yourself away like you’re nothing.
I won’t need to remind you, but when the time comes, your heart will. Your emotions shouldn’t be ignored because they will yearn for what you need even when you have forgotten what you truly desire.
Never forget what you want, because when you do there will be no one there to tell you what you would have already come to know.
When you look at yourself in the mirror, it’s not about respecting who you are anymore, it’s not about anything you have ever come to know. It’s all about when you look deep into your eyes reflection and realise you were doing it all wrong.
Until one day, it hits you; your emotions have been so betrayed by you that you didn’t listen for one moment and when you feel like you did, it was too late.
I’m here to tell you … it’s never too late.
Will you always expect me to love you, even when I find it hard to love myself sometimes?
Do you expect me to be good to you, when I’m bad to myself?
Do you expect me to be kind to you, when I’m angry at myself?
When I’m looking off into your distant horizon, I’m not being cold; my thoughts are not on standby. Sometimes I’m hard to understand because I don’t understand why I deserved you when I think you deserved so much more, so much better than me.
I relentlessly question the greater power as to why they have cursed me with such a beautiful soul. What have I done that made me worthy?
Is this the plan? To make me fall so deep, make me cling my hopes and dreams to them and watch them unhook my anchor as I’m falling 10,000 feet in the air?
Do you want me to feel betrayal and the pointy shards of my broken heart, this dry and overworn artefact? Do I need to be broken again to learn what I failed to learn the first time around?
Do I fear failing so much that I won’t bother to try? I won’t bother to see how beautiful you smile when the Sun is shining behind you.
It’s all a state of mind.
What makes me not worthy than the next person? I want to share my hopes and dreams with a beautiful soul; I want to belong with someone.
I mean no disrespect to the stars, but you have seen me weak and you have seen the way I weep. You have seen when I’m not a man and you have seen how quick I crumble like sand.
Please don’t take her away from me, even if I’m not worthy.
This all feels overwhelming.
I look at the time and it feels like there’s not enough of it, and when I’m waiting for something, there’s too much.
I can sleep and wake up as a new person, different from yesterday. I can feel different, change the way I was thinking before, and look different, as if time is moulding me as it pleases. Having its way, harassing me and I am powerless to do anything about it but look at my reflection and ponder.
It hasn’t been long, but I feel like I’m already a different person than I was a year ago.
The conversations that I had with you, I’m not so sure if what I said fits with the person that I have become today.
All the words I said live in another time, another place that had a different meaning and feeling to what I feel right now. In the future, they will take on a different meaning to the person that I would eventually become.
Even though I smile when I look at you, I’m decaying inside. You can’t see the destruction within me, you can’t read what I’m really thinking, but I will smile anyway so you don’t have to worry.
You can do what you like and exclude me; I won’t get in your way. When you say you will do anything for me, do you understand the weight, the meaning these words carry?
Even if you don’t, like time it doesn’t bother with the details, but only concentrates on passing through; I will smile anyway.
MY IGNORANCE HAS CAUGHT ME OUT
NOW I’M IN A PLACE I DON’T WANT TO BE
I KNEW THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY ACTIONS
BUT RATHER THAN TURNING AWAY
NOW MY EMOTIONS ARE RUNNING COLD
AND I’M FEELING REALLY BAD
THE SMELL OF MY DESTRUCTION
HAUNTS ME STILL
AFTER THE BOMB HAS EXPLODED
IN DENIAL I TRY TO JUSTIFY
MY REASONS FOR THIS EMPTINESS
A SELFISH GAIN IS NOTHING TO ME
IF WHAT I’M LOSING
IS MY IDENTITY
ALTHOUGH I REPEAT MY APOLOGIES
AND HOW IN TRUTH THEY MEAN NOTHING
IN BARGAINING FOR ANOTHER CHANCE
I HATE MYSELF
WHAT I’VE BECOME AND WHAT I MAY BE
IF ONLY I COULD TURN BACK TIME
I WOULD STOP MYSELF BEFORE IT BEGINS
AND MAYBE THEN I WILL FEEL BETTER RIGHT NOW
BUT MAYBE THEN I’LL MAKE IT HISTORY
AND LEARN A LESSON FOR ME
DON’T WANT THIS BITTERNESS TO REPEAT
SO I MAKE MYSELF A PROMISE
THAT I WILL CHANGE JUST FOR ME
SO ONE DAY I CAN LOOK BACK
WITH NO REGRETS
Written by Charles Daaboul
We’re a sad horse; we are disappointed with the world because our expectations are not in view with reality. No, we’re not lazy, but expect a lot. We’re ambitious, flowery and want fulfilment and meaningful relationships.
We’re green with envy of everyone else, some think their grass is always green, when we look over the fence, it’s a marvellous wonderland. Have you seen what’s in the shed? Everyone is just like you. They’re not sure what they’re doing, clinging to whatever hope they can muster, floating in the dark, can’t decide on what they want, always frustrated and annoyed at everything. No self-confidence or overly confident and miserable at the world.
Concentrate on the most important part; yourself. Stop looking over the fence, don’t look for distractions. Work towards YOU and don’t worry about everyone else.
And I have declared that feelings are first
I hope you pay attention to what matters
As with the small things will never kiss you
And a fool will never see you through
If my body approves and my kiss a foresight of fate
With all the falling petals
That came from the flowers I sent
There’s no wisdom greater than
My heart’s beating torment
I have declared that feelings are for me and you
And if you decide to not love me so I will not love you
For everyday you do is another day I have forgotten you
I have reached up to the moon
The dead stars and the curious black crow
I have put my hand through fire
And saw the darkest ashes
From my broken body
And as far as I can reach to the unknown
I am carried by the dashing aching wind
Feeling your flaccid hands that brings me back to you
And here I am again curious by your heart’s decay
Of not loving me anymore but you insist I should stay
And little by little I will wander away
I’m sorry that I didn’t do enough.
I want you to know that each day hurts without you.
I feel you’re fading away from my mind, but not from my heart. My heart won’t let you go and it holds on to you with claws anchored in as if losing you will cut open a wound so large it would flutter an abnormal rhythm from every chamber. All the contractions will be in shock, the lower chambers will hum the Valley of Death and the music to my ears, and how your smile looks to my eyes will all be out of sync.
I hope that you will come back to me and we can start again.
But you are gone.
You are gone.
Cut open and flutter abnormally a rhythm and dance with me in the lower chambers, and you walked with me holding my hands in the Valley of Death and left me all out of sync.