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shining armour

Remember me as a writer, a lover, the mighty knight in shining armour.

Forget sin I created, it was infectious.

Marriages ended from the tip of my sword, the tip of insanity. My shield gave shelter from the fallout; I’m the messenger of God, living inside hell, made for an ancient poet.

It’s how we dress, amazing self-esteem, amazing self-proclaimed poetry and soaring thoughts arrive where words are born.

We stand, we continue to do the things that we do. We create buildings tall, make bridges reach their destination and leave problems hanging in pits of isolation.

I am an architect of words that can create and destroy without having to take back the imperfection of a draft, the flaws of a perfect story gave us confidence to look up at the stars today.

I can take it all away, with the swing of the brush, start again with new canvases, a new beginning for a fairytale. I can erase the pain and history with someone new.

This time, no failure.

This time, I promise to fall in love… with love, and she would say, “My knight in shining armour….”

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Excerpt from The Window (Revisited) By Michael Daaboul

Excerpt from The Window (Revisited) By Michael Daaboul

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v354 cephei

Being adrift through space, wandering for eternity, and I have yet to come in contact with anyone else like me. We were really alone in this massive gulf. Such a pointless existence not to have shared galactic wonder with other species.

I lay dormant and thwarted.

Disappointed and frustrated with the silence. Locked inside a mammoth hole, this mammoth desolation. This act of desperation merely made a validation of the vulnerability of the human condition. Predisposed to triggers and forms of ravaging malice had often destroyed hope of finding a temporary solution to the pain.

In space I wander if I will discover freedom for the human race as they have now lost all hope for salvation and I have been travelling here, in empty wonder and loneliness for eons.

I have not recorded much in my log if I were to be found dead no one will know of the struggle our civilization had to endure. With the passing of asteroids and beautiful, dark planets, I can conclude that I will drift endlessly through a passing vacuum of time.

I can conclude, for certainty, no further discoveries had been made to aide our helpless attempts of longevity. As my coordinates are set for V354 Cephei, I will return to the stars a broken man, with broken aspirations in one final attempt to find an answer worth dying for.

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a cosmic byproduct

Life is emptiness that couldn’t be filled. Life doesn’t cause beauty, it is.

I understand life to never be limited; moments in time are defined by everything you believe in.

Life is the epitome of dreams, when thoughts arrive, you’re sent beyond any world the imagination could find.

In blindness, you will be in the midst of reality.

Life is not bound by fate, life is not considered to be or be a part of, and life’s meaning couldn’t be grasped or understood by words.

Perception is only masked by what your mind chooses to interpret.

An impression that lasts is only an appearance that you benefit from.

A shadow is merely a place where light has not entered yet.

You can’t see yourself, but only a mirror shows you who you are. You’re a reflection that’s not reflected anywhere else.

This is what life is, in a metaphoric and manufactured world, a cosmic byproduct, this unexpected consequence, which has to be lived to be believed.

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Never Settle for Second Best! I am a guest speaker addressing a hall full of university graduates. I feel privileged to be invited to one of the most prestigious universities that planet Earth has to offer. I’m not really sure if another planet has a better university, but I’m willing to risk my reputation on that.With all the speeches that I have heard throughout all the years I have been in the education system, most if not all, have been complete rambles of big words that didn’t make any sense and had little, if not, any purpose to me. I never really remembered a single word they said. Could it be that they had a fear inside to really tell students and graduates what the real world is like outside of the education system? Were they bound by a set of rules that they had to deliver a speech according to the legislation that had been written using a black ink pen? I never really found out the reason, I never got a set of rules, so it couldn’t be that exactly. I thought about this and what wandered inside my mind were thoughts that, maybe they didn’t really care to address points of realism or they never really wanted you to know their secrets of success. I’m a blunt person who never lies, I should say, I don’t lie that often. I would imagine that is why this university thought I would be the ideal person for the job. That could be their biggest mistake, perhaps, with modesty aside, they chose the best option.I’m not going to use big fancy words or use flowery phrases and quotes from past inspirational icons. I’m going to tell you how life is and how to focus your thinking so you’re ready to take on what lies ahead.You’re all about to leave your comfort zones and go into the workforce not knowing exactly what is going to happen. That’s alright; there is nothing wrong with not knowing what you’re doing. The only way to get there is by hard work and trusting that gut feeling you have inside. It’s all a risk; after all, it’s no different than picking your subjects in high school and choosing which degree to do at university. It’s all picking something that will hopefully work out in the end. Many people have plans and hopes; don’t be surprised if plans don’t go according to plan. You have to trust in yourself, trust a feeling, something that tells you what is right and go with it. You won’t be able to look into the future and pick what exactly you want. However, when you do get there, you can look back and see how it all worked out. You never knew what you were really doing, you picked and chose and you put in the hard work which got you there in the end.I never knew what I was doing, but that’s not a bad thing. If I look back now, I can see how the choices I made got me to where I am today. If I didn’t make that particular choice, it would have affected every other choice and I probably wouldn’t be giving this speech to you now.As you move along in life and you have taken the first steps to start and assemble your career, no doubt, you might or how I would like to put it, fall in love. This could come up at anytime and affect any situation you might have. If you’re anything like me in terms of relationships, you wouldn’t settle for second best. Sorry, I used the wrong word in there, NEVER settle for second best. I really can’t stress this enough! You would only ever get into a relationship where feelings and emotions are maximised. It’s very rare, but it exists and finding it will be the most fulfilling thing you could ever do in your life. The sad part is, most never really find it, let alone experience the feeling. The best advice you can ever receive is to search for it and the only place you can is if you look inside yourself and trust your heart. It sounds clichéd and sentimental, but don’t be surprised when you find that person, you suddenly feel a rush of emotion and you start to become dazed. You will know it’s because you belong with them. If you feel like you belong, you know its right. You will feel it, because it’s right!Like anything in life, you will need to love everything you do, the same way you will feel like you love and belong with the person you’re with. Remembering never settling for second best, it only gets better knowing you’re with someone you love and in a career you love. It’s basically your whole life, so you wouldn’t settle for the second prize. It will not come on your first shot, it might not even come in several chances that you do get, and sometimes I would even imagine that the chance will never come. I don’t say this to cast a dark shadow on your hopes and what you want to accomplish, it’s just a little introduction to the next part of what I’m going to tell you. ‘Never’, ‘come’ are strong use of words and you mentality would justify this and it will only be yourself and no one else that would change it.Through all the lessons in life you have come to learn and receive and through the losses and the trials you have been through, they have all given you invaluable life experiences. When you fail, no one else is paying as much attention as you are. You must learn from your failures and move on. Nothing comes from sitting in the corner wishing for some miracle that will never come. Don’t take failure as the higher power above is trying to make your life miserable, were not even sure if a higher power exists, so really, you’re talking to yourself. You just need to realise that with all failures comes lessons that need to be learned. With all failures comes with alternative pathways that is most likely much better than the path you were on before. Sometimes, failing re-directs your mind and puts you on a path that was better than before and opens more opportunities for you. You might never really make it or you move on and see which other doors that are hiding have left for you. You’re bound to open a door that’s right. Always account for variable change, you just might not know what opens up for you when something doesn’t quite work out.I took a slightly different approach when diving into the depths of the numerous areas life has to offer and the layers of problems that can be found. I’m not giving you anecdotes to these situations; I’m merely pressing what it is and what there is to be found. Anecdotes are used to persuade you that these moments in life do happen.  With every story you’re going to hear, there is always going to be what didn’t work out and abruptly how everything came together again. You don’t want to hear this, at the end of the day, you just want to know the message it brings and the moral of the story. The most successful people in the world have amazing stories to tell you and of course you will hear about their fairytale ending. Truth be told, not everyone has that fairytale ending and mostly some people will eventually break down trying to get there. They’re those people who are not successful and you will never get to hear their story, it will never be told because it’s seen as a complete and utter failure and does no good to graduates entering a new phrase of their life. If you have never failed, how can you measure your impending success? Through other people’s failures?I can assure you, those successful people at one time or another had no idea what they were doing as well. They were hoping for the best and they stuck to what they trusted inside. They put in the hard work and they experienced failure more times than once. Some failures even got them their fairytale ending; it opens their eyes and other paths that lead them in the right direction. They chose to go with what they loved and never settled for anything less. Most people never really realise how close they were to success, because when they had failed, they stopped. Who would have known? They would have needed just one more step to succeed. Sometimes the sacrifice is an overwhelming concept.With all that I have said, does it even matter if you all were going to live forever? It probably wouldn’t matter. Since you would have all eternity to succeed in anything you choose to do, you could do whatever you want, at your convenience. But, the reality of it is, that is not quite true. We all will have to face death, one way or another, even if we run away, our joints will get arthritis or something like that to put us at a disadvantage. Not really fair when death doesn’t get old! With all jokes aside, if everyone in the world has to deal with this reality, why not use death on our side? What does anyone have to lose? You’re put on this life and you’re taken away from this life just as you were put in it. Understanding that someday this reality will hit us, why not make the most of the time we have? Does it really matter if you failed in something you did in your life when death comes knocking? Does it matter that you were afraid to speak to that girl or boy you liked from across the room? Death has no limitations; it just takes what it wants, when it wants. It’s not embarrassed that it might fail, it’s not fearful of anything; it has no expectations but one goal in mind. We don’t have to be any different towards that mindset. If it’s certain that death is going to knock on our doors, then what is the delay from doing whatever you want, to achieve what you want to do, with what your heart tells you to?Life can be given as fast as it can be taken away, with that in mind, you learn to appreciate every detail in life and all of a sudden, appreciation is something you will grow to love in the end.It’s better to look at death as a concept more than anything else. This is my exit strategy to get out of the depressing mess I got myself into. In all truth, no one wants to let go of the world, even if heaven is the next destination, I’m sure many people would rather take another route than death. Unfortunately, there isn’t another route and if you look towards the sunset, there is only one road. So, if we have time ticking away life in the corner there, we should never waste it on trivial matters and what other people think when they try to put you down. Learn to pave your own way and go head on towards what you want to achieve. What have you got to lose? We are all going on that same route to one destination, go there with style.I don’t really know if I saved myself with that exist strategy, but even if it didn’t, am I going to let that bother me with what I know now? Of course not, well, maybe a little. I have learnt to live with three key words that have made my mind at ease to allow me to continue going forward. If you can find respect, trust and loyalty in relationships you develop or with that special someone, you will find that true happiness will become your being. Learn to appreciate life itself and when they say to love truly, you better believe it! I hope you all have great lives and achieve wonderful things.Remember, never settle for second best!Thank you all very much!

Never Settle for Second Best!

I am a guest speaker addressing a hall full of university graduates.


I feel privileged to be invited to one of the most prestigious universities that planet Earth has to offer. I’m not really sure if another planet has a better university, but I’m willing to risk my reputation on that.

With all the speeches that I have heard throughout all the years I have been in the education system, most if not all, have been complete rambles of big words that didn’t make any sense and had little, if not, any purpose to me. I never really remembered a single word they said.

Could it be that they had a fear inside to really tell students and graduates what the real world is like outside of the education system? Were they bound by a set of rules that they had to deliver a speech according to the legislation that had been written using a black ink pen? I never really found out the reason, I never got a set of rules, so it couldn’t be that exactly. I thought about this and what wandered inside my mind were thoughts that, maybe they didn’t really care to address points of realism or they never really wanted you to know their secrets of success. I’m a blunt person who never lies, I should say, I don’t lie that often. I would imagine that is why this university thought I would be the ideal person for the job. That could be their biggest mistake, perhaps, with modesty aside, they chose the best option.

I’m not going to use big fancy words or use flowery phrases and quotes from past inspirational icons. I’m going to tell you how life is and how to focus your thinking so you’re ready to take on what lies ahead.

You’re all about to leave your comfort zones and go into the workforce not knowing exactly what is going to happen. That’s alright; there is nothing wrong with not knowing what you’re doing. The only way to get there is by hard work and trusting that gut feeling you have inside. It’s all a risk; after all, it’s no different than picking your subjects in high school and choosing which degree to do at university. It’s all picking something that will hopefully work out in the end. Many people have plans and hopes; don’t be surprised if plans don’t go according to plan. You have to trust in yourself, trust a feeling, something that tells you what is right and go with it. You won’t be able to look into the future and pick what exactly you want. However, when you do get there, you can look back and see how it all worked out. You never knew what you were really doing, you picked and chose and you put in the hard work which got you there in the end.

I never knew what I was doing, but that’s not a bad thing. If I look back now, I can see how the choices I made got me to where I am today. If I didn’t make that particular choice, it would have affected every other choice and I probably wouldn’t be giving this speech to you now.

As you move along in life and you have taken the first steps to start and assemble your career, no doubt, you might or how I would like to put it, fall in love. This could come up at anytime and affect any situation you might have. If you’re anything like me in terms of relationships, you wouldn’t settle for second best. Sorry, I used the wrong word in there, NEVER settle for second best. I really can’t stress this enough! You would only ever get into a relationship where feelings and emotions are maximised. It’s very rare, but it exists and finding it will be the most fulfilling thing you could ever do in your life. The sad part is, most never really find it, let alone experience the feeling. The best advice you can ever receive is to search for it and the only place you can is if you look inside yourself and trust your heart. It sounds clichéd and sentimental, but don’t be surprised when you find that person, you suddenly feel a rush of emotion and you start to become dazed. You will know it’s because you belong with them. If you feel like you belong, you know its right. You will feel it, because it’s right!

Like anything in life, you will need to love everything you do, the same way you will feel like you love and belong with the person you’re with. Remembering never settling for second best, it only gets better knowing you’re with someone you love and in a career you love. It’s basically your whole life, so you wouldn’t settle for the second prize. It will not come on your first shot, it might not even come in several chances that you do get, and sometimes I would even imagine that the chance will never come. I don’t say this to cast a dark shadow on your hopes and what you want to accomplish, it’s just a little introduction to the next part of what I’m going to tell you. ‘Never’, ‘come’ are strong use of words and you mentality would justify this and it will only be yourself and no one else that would change it.

Through all the lessons in life you have come to learn and receive and through the losses and the trials you have been through, they have all given you invaluable life experiences. When you fail, no one else is paying as much attention as you are. You must learn from your failures and move on. Nothing comes from sitting in the corner wishing for some miracle that will never come. Don’t take failure as the higher power above is trying to make your life miserable, were not even sure if a higher power exists, so really, you’re talking to yourself. You just need to realise that with all failures comes lessons that need to be learned. With all failures comes with alternative pathways that is most likely much better than the path you were on before. Sometimes, failing re-directs your mind and puts you on a path that was better than before and opens more opportunities for you. You might never really make it or you move on and see which other doors that are hiding have left for you. You’re bound to open a door that’s right. Always account for variable change, you just might not know what opens up for you when something doesn’t quite work out.

I took a slightly different approach when diving into the depths of the numerous areas life has to offer and the layers of problems that can be found. I’m not giving you anecdotes to these situations; I’m merely pressing what it is and what there is to be found. Anecdotes are used to persuade you that these moments in life do happen.  With every story you’re going to hear, there is always going to be what didn’t work out and abruptly how everything came together again. You don’t want to hear this, at the end of the day, you just want to know the message it brings and the moral of the story. The most successful people in the world have amazing stories to tell you and of course you will hear about their fairytale ending. Truth be told, not everyone has that fairytale ending and mostly some people will eventually break down trying to get there. They’re those people who are not successful and you will never get to hear their story, it will never be told because it’s seen as a complete and utter failure and does no good to graduates entering a new phrase of their life. If you have never failed, how can you measure your impending success? Through other people’s failures?

I can assure you, those successful people at one time or another had no idea what they were doing as well. They were hoping for the best and they stuck to what they trusted inside. They put in the hard work and they experienced failure more times than once. Some failures even got them their fairytale ending; it opens their eyes and other paths that lead them in the right direction. They chose to go with what they loved and never settled for anything less. Most people never really realise how close they were to success, because when they had failed, they stopped. Who would have known? They would have needed just one more step to succeed. Sometimes the sacrifice is an overwhelming concept.

With all that I have said, does it even matter if you all were going to live forever? It probably wouldn’t matter. Since you would have all eternity to succeed in anything you choose to do, you could do whatever you want, at your convenience. But, the reality of it is, that is not quite true. We all will have to face death, one way or another, even if we run away, our joints will get arthritis or something like that to put us at a disadvantage. Not really fair when death doesn’t get old! With all jokes aside, if everyone in the world has to deal with this reality, why not use death on our side? What does anyone have to lose? You’re put on this life and you’re taken away from this life just as you were put in it. Understanding that someday this reality will hit us, why not make the most of the time we have? Does it really matter if you failed in something you did in your life when death comes knocking? Does it matter that you were afraid to speak to that girl or boy you liked from across the room? Death has no limitations; it just takes what it wants, when it wants. It’s not embarrassed that it might fail, it’s not fearful of anything; it has no expectations but one goal in mind. We don’t have to be any different towards that mindset. If it’s certain that death is going to knock on our doors, then what is the delay from doing whatever you want, to achieve what you want to do, with what your heart tells you to?

Life can be given as fast as it can be taken away, with that in mind, you learn to appreciate every detail in life and all of a sudden, appreciation is something you will grow to love in the end.

It’s better to look at death as a concept more than anything else. This is my exit strategy to get out of the depressing mess I got myself into. In all truth, no one wants to let go of the world, even if heaven is the next destination, I’m sure many people would rather take another route than death. Unfortunately, there isn’t another route and if you look towards the sunset, there is only one road. So, if we have time ticking away life in the corner there, we should never waste it on trivial matters and what other people think when they try to put you down. Learn to pave your own way and go head on towards what you want to achieve. What have you got to lose? We are all going on that same route to one destination, go there with style.

I don’t really know if I saved myself with that exist strategy, but even if it didn’t, am I going to let that bother me with what I know now? Of course not, well, maybe a little.

I have learnt to live with three key words that have made my mind at ease to allow me to continue going forward. If you can find respect, trust and loyalty in relationships you develop or with that special someone, you will find that true happiness will become your being. Learn to appreciate life itself and when they say to love truly, you better believe it! I hope you all have great lives and achieve wonderful things.

Remember, never settle for second best!


Thank you all very much!

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skyward

At anytime you have the freedom to walk away from any decision that’s unsettling you. Regardless of how immature you think it may be as it occurred to you a long time ago that you’re now aware of your mortality. You have realised that we are nothing more but biological creatures with a ticking end.

Relying on individuals has become a notion of the past and somebody and no one is the same person. This is adulthood, and now your journey is to find some meaning, something more than what is. Striking points of lighting that can jump start your emotions and thought process.

Contrasting the contrasting differences in your life and situation, when your back is against the painted walls and life is pressing against you, you tend to fall in love; you choose to fall in love. And nothing is more real than the fictitious characters and idealistic ideas that you have come to believe as finding the truth was not as desirable as you hoped and life became an existence of disappointment.

You twirl around looking skyward on a cloudy day, looking at the top of the world in madness, thinking that the mystery of life and this planet has something more to give. But it doesn’t give, it’s silent and you know your whole life can be spent attempting to interpret something that can’t be interpreted.

You suffered vertigo twirling for years and finally came to an awkward and depressing conclusion that with your hand placed firmly on the wall and life breaking away, that this is all there is. Nothing more, nothing less, this is it.

All the pain and struggle you have been through shaped you into the miserable monster you are now and continued to have epiphanies that with all the love and passion came the heartache of life.

You placed your thoughts on a table and rearranged them to fit your hypothesis. I have experienced the passion of love and the desire of belonging. The pain of desire, the struggle for passion and the broken heart of love only went hand in hand. As for the brightest and vivid memories of my existence and your existence it was a contrasting photo album of the dark.

For love to exist there needs to be two and for darkness to exist, it needs light. It’s never free, never tired, because one heart needs another to exist and if one rebels, it risks its life over dangerous convictions and forsaking lies if the truth was not realised.

But, you see, truth was realised, it was realised a long time ago and the present and the future is a madhouse of terrible tragedies. Are you mentality strong to know with each passing day your hope dies a little bit more and your insanity increases just a little bit more?

There’s nothing here, nothing at all. When you can’t go on life reveals its true self, it reveals true hopelessness of its emptiness.

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all for nothing (an epic poem)


My teacher wouldn’t give me my pen licence
Because my writing was too messy
All the kids got theirs
And I got mine last
The other kids wrote in blue
While I wrote in grey
I didn’t understand
The teacher was never happy with my work
When I went home
I took the piece of paper I wrote
And stuck it on my door
My sister thought my handwriting was nice
My father smiled
I had a white kitten
His name was Snowy
I knew no girls
They didn’t like me
I didn’t know why I liked girls
And my Mum would give me a kiss before I went to bed at night
And I thought the next day will be okay

My English teacher thought I copied my assignment from the internet
Because my writing was so good
He gave all the kids an A+
But didn’t question their work
But he questioned mine
Because it was strange to see me so bright
I went home
I took my assignment and put it in the bin
My sister didn’t look at my work anymore
My father stopped smiling
My cat got hit by a car
I still didn’t know any girls
They didn’t like me
My Mum would not be home at night
And I had trouble sleeping
I left the lights on

My lecturer thought I was a brilliant student
I created work that no one believed
But my lecturer didn’t know me
He had no bias when he looked at my work
He saw something new from someone with ability
No one saw that I had ability
They thought I was slow and stupid
An idiot
He gave me a high distinction
When I went home
I hid my work in a folder
On the highest shelf in my room
My sister got married and moved out
My father died
I stopped liking cats
I had a girlfriend but she didn’t like me
I felt dead she never kissed me
My Mum was never home
I was alone
All I did was write
And at 5 AM I tried to go to bed
But the pain kept me up all night

When I finished my education
I realised that I had learned nothing
I went into the real world
Afraid with no one to talk about anything
I couldn’t find a job
I didn’t know many people
I still didn’t know any girls
I was still heartbroken
And now I know nothing
I continued to write in my room
I wrote something that I thought would change the world
And I gave myself a high distinction
I worked out how to ease the pain with a blade
I was frozen
I put the piece of writing on my chest
As I slowly fell asleep I felt at ease
For the first time in my life
I was at peace
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upside down maps


I’m holding a map upside down
Going backwards without knowing
I’m heading back into the same town
I can’t see where you’d be
Coffee marks on places you like are blurry
My mind falls into deep rivers

The noise is overwhelming
All bright lights are blinding
Your smile is amazing
All these miles away
I pray that someday
I’ll be wrapped around in your arms

So many places left untravelled
I hold your memories as fuel for hope
All the distances that’s left battled
Before I hit the ground I hold on to a thin rope
And I swing from left to right
My time is ending in silence
I’m not sure if this is right

Exhausted and defeated
We touched our hearts
Closing our eyes as were fading
Dreaming of a close place
The last time I was with you
Wrapped in your arms
As I swing weeping with my eyes closed
From left to right

I fall on the cold ground
Exhausted and defeated
Going backwards without knowing
The distance between you and me
I pray that someday
Your voice will break my silence
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my mind in slow motion

I have destroyed myself over and over again.

This doesn’t feel like the New Year, it never felt like Christmas.

I do understand and that’s the part that’s going to kill the most.

I destroyed my fairytale and turned it into the coldest story.

I didn’t use my mind and I was not myself when I fucked it up.

And this is the monster I had become and now I’m there standing still in my mind of despair.

I will sit here holding the gun to my head and pressing the trigger not knowing if the stupid thing is loaded. I look the other way and with every clicking sound and blank shots, I sit there in an absolute maze. I look to the other side of my world torn apart and I stare, I destroyed hope and along with hope, I destroyed the place I wanted to be in and a life made in the fountain of dreams. I destroyed the life I could of had.

There’s nothing wrong, but in time you won’t say that and everything won’t be okay.

Decisions made in anger and the happiness of it all is the worst part, I destroyed the happiness and I didn’t even know I was doing it.

There’s no one beside me as I lose my soul and I wonder if I can fix hope as I look at all the pieces and notice how much is missing. Now, I’m looking in the dark for something that’s not there, but I am looking anyway. The task is hopelessly impossible.

I will take my time, I will take all eternity, make no hesitation, and I will be with eternity alone if I have to make it right. I didn’t know how close you were from falling…

This is not who I really am, this is the person I wanted to destroy and instead I messed it up.

This is what I used to look like when I smiled and now I’m turning into someone else.

After all we have been through, the hidden notes (you’re the best person), I know I can’t believe, it’s me you’re talking to, it’s me and you.

This is wrong and I can’t leave it wrong, but if I don’t understand, I will destroy myself until I do and create hope.

It doesn’t feel real, I did ignore and now I’m wide awake.

How did I mess this up and turned this into the coldest story that you can possibly tell?

This is a snapshot of my mind captured in slow motion. I would have taken a shot of my heart but words couldn’t comprehend what’s going on in there.

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