An Unread Letter

To my lost love,
 
I write you this letter knowing that you will never read it, but I feel that it’s something that I have to do. I know it’s over between us and that there is nothing left. I hate each day because I will never relive what we once shared.
 
I cycle through the memories of us and try to believe that everything is the same. Although deep down inside, I know that the memories will fade away and will one day become so grey and colourless as if they never existed.
 
Do you remember when we used to lay down together and you used to stare me in the eyes? You would tell me, “For the first time in my life, I am happy”, and I would look at you and smile. I never appreciated those words until you were gone. I never acknowledged what that meant to you. For one moment in time, when I held you in my arms, you were at peace and didn’t want to be anywhere else. I took that for granted.
 
I dwell on the time when you once said, “You mean a lot to me and I miss you so much. You make everything pleasurable and nice … and sparkly, glittery, shimmery and sickeningly colourful like a Disney movie. I hope that one day I can make you as happy as you have made me.”
 
Your face used to glow at the first thought of me. Even when I was not around, just knowing that you were going to see me made the day worthwhile and gave you something to look forward to. When I would finally arrive at your doorstep, your smile would say it all and your eyes would light up. How I miss that so much. Yet the last memory I have of you is one deflated and cold, as if I never meant anything to you. You couldn’t even look at me as I walked away.
 
I never gave you the commitment that you deserved. In protecting myself I kept you at a distance and pushed you too far away. These words still linger in my mind, “Once upon a time you used to like hearing from me. You used to like my long messages and my mundane talkative crap. Then something changed. You no longer enjoyed my ramblings. You lived happily ever after and I pondered why you never showed me how much you really loved me.”
 
I’m sorry that I didn’t do enough, but I want you to know that each day hurts without you. I feel you fading away from my mind, but not from my heart. My heart won’t let you go and it holds on to you in hope that you will come back to me and we can start again. But you are gone, you are truly gone. Those feelings that you once had, those words that you once spoke, will no longer be felt or said to me by you. And it’s sad, so damn sad, because I still love you and wish that my bleeding heart will be healed by your hands.
 
An emptiness now resides, that no matter what I do, I cannot seem to fill. It’s a constant void that reminds me of the experiences that I will never share with you again, the happy memories that we will never make. I know it’s goodbye, but I don’t want to accept it, because if I do then I know that I have truly lost you. For now, it’s just easier to pretend that I still have you and that I am still everything to you … even though it’s pretend.
 

Always yours,

xox
 

P.S. – Remember how you used to dream of building that house together and wishing that you could come home to me every night? I wish for that too …



Written by Charles Daaboul

A Letter To My Son

As a child I took many situations as they came. I picked up a lot of life’s messages and lessons.

As I grew up between the ages of thirteen to seventeen, I realised in my teenage years that I went though a lot of negative dilemmas and quite a few of positives as well. I learnt lots of things in my years as a teenager and I went through obstacles that were in my way. These obstacles were a challenge but I managed to overcome them. You go through insecurities and stages where you get depressed quite a lot.

When you reach the ages of eighteen to twenty-eight, you might realise that the good things in life are coming to you. These are the stages in life where you sit down and think about where the next step in life is. Think about finishing university, getting a new house, getting married and maybe having children and buying a car. There are many things to work out and that’s when your life really starts.

Once you have settled down around the age of thirty-eight and beyond you start to look back on the things in life that you remembered, the things that you have done that were so great. You tend to look back at your accomplishments and pride yourself on them.

If things don’t go so well, don’t have a sad grim on your face forever. Remember, there will be times that will upset you and you have to try to work yourself around it. Always try to seek help if you can’t solve the problem yourself. 

If you want to become a man and make use of your time on Earth, then be wise! Learn from your mistakes and find your weaknesses and strengthen them.

Don’t have the macho look; be yourself. The only thing in life that will make you succeed in everything you do is your mind. Use it for it is the only thing that will guide you every step of the way! The big macho man was left in the past. In today’s society knowledge is power.

If you’re having trouble at school for any reason, bullies or homework, make sure you talk to your teachers or people that you feel comfortable with. They will help you.

Don’t be influenced by your peers too much. I know it’s hard and sometimes popularity is at stake, but you got to take control. If you think about it, proving that you’re worthy of something to your friends doesn’t count in the long run. They won’t remember it; they will forget it, they might never be there again and you will suffer from the effects. So be smart and know what you have to do. Don’t do what you don’t want to do because of what others tell you. Listen to the right people. Watch out for the minority of people that try to put you down and make you sink. After all, there is nothing more they would like than to see you fail and become miserable.

If you notice something about your health, find out what it is, be curious about these things, read about it and if it is nothing serious, don’t worry about it. But if it needs attention son, don’t be a chicken to go to the doctor.

If you are having relationship issues, with a girl you like, don’t be afraid to go up to her and tell her how you feel. If you don’t, she will eventually be taken. I have the same taste as you, and I know how quick these girls get boyfriends.

Don’t hesitate. Have the courage and bravery to stand up for what you believe in. Don’t be pushed by other people and have the guts to say ‘no’ sometimes.

If you’re a ‘yes’ man then people will just take advantage of you. Don’t let that happen and don’t make yourself feel used.

Listen to people when they are giving you advice. These are hidden pearls that you can add to your growing knowledge of wisdom.

Be sure to have a sense of humour and take certain things as a joke and don’t take offence to them. There is nothing more ordinary and embarrassing than making a scene because you couldn’t recognise a joke that was being made. However with that being said, if you feel that it’s more than a joke and it is really pissing you off then have the courage to say, “Wait a second, you’re going a bit too far here!” Don’t be afraid of anyone because that shows you’re weak, and you’re not. It’s okay to be afraid, but not when you’re living in fear.

Learn to have fun at the right times and know when to be serious and give it your max. You can have your little shenanigans and mischievous moments but know when to stop son.

Life is about having fun and being happy, it’s all about the experiences you have and make sure you pick up the messages in life that’s been shown to you. Don’t miss them because your ignorance can affect you pretty bad so get into the know. Learn to help people. If someone is seeking your help give them the helpful hand and show them the door, but let them open it.

Son, I want you to remember three things, ‘intelligence’, ‘wisdom’ & ‘honour’. With these three things, you my son can be a man that will be respected, trusted and remembered. Now be good, and good luck!


Love your Dad.

The Destroyer

Looking far across the sea with a single thought that has been paralysed by deep pondering, thinking at no pace, irregular, but frequent, about what our destiny could be.

We seem to like the idea of having some importance about existing, some purpose important enough, but don’t know anything but feel as if it’s important. That’s all we are good for, thinking that we are important.

Off into that distance, life ends up looking a little pale. Not as bright as it could be and the wonder, we like to wonder all the time about how our life should be.

With our thinking, we destroy everything. We burn any life left in us by thinking. It’s madness. Deep depression, and slowly the darkness solaces you and you think again, always thinking, always destroying, and destroying yourself.

We want to run into a forest we have never been to, but to run into this forest, we need to know where it is for us to run through it. We can’t do that. We start to think about this forest and what we intend to do and we don’t want to do it anymore because we destroyed it. We thought too much and killed the idea. We don’t want to run in the forest anymore. It’s done, we destroyed it. The idea is gone, not interested.

Then dawn sets and we have no direction anymore. Liberated ourselves, satisfied another day is gone and we have destroyed any idea we had, everything destroyed. With that idea and single thought now paralysed because in that state of wonder we liked the idea of almost catching the purpose of why we exist, even running the risk of looking like a stunned corpse. The sea almost looks empty enough, like your thoughts, and you can see your eye lids frown and drop down and think about that you’re existing because everything else in the universe forgot to think.

If the universe did decide to think about what it was doing, it will destroy itself and collapse. Every planet will explode and implode together, orchestrated beautifully, big bang after another because everything decided to think for itself and destroy itself. Then, no life left to destroy itself, no life left to start destroying beautiful ideas and thoughts because of judgements made by thinking which destroyed beauty.

Beauty never had to be thought, it was just there, always looking beautiful, but thinking it was beautiful made it ugly enough to be dreadful looking to the eyes, disgusting enough because of that single thought of doubting its beauty we destroyed it. Along with every other notion of purpose and with no purpose comes no notion of anything important.

And then we are all back at the cliff looking out towards the sea, remembering we have no purpose and now knowing we also have no notion of anything that made us not important. Looking like a stunned corpse and suddenly music plays in the background as if you’re the star of your own movie and you become scared to think too much about your current situation because you realise it’s now very beautiful and you don’t want to destroy it anymore.