I watched your lips move as you told me about how you were all alone. You told me that there was no other way, as your tears fell down from your eyes. Your heart did break in two; your thoughts were so confused.
Like a hurricane, it hits somewhere near home, it will not leave you alone. Like a hurricane, it has its own way.
It was not your fault. You did not know the truth. Everything was hidden away from you, everything that could have ever hurt you. It was kept far away, in hope that it could maybe protect you.
You had no way of knowing, like rain without the dark clouds on a nice day. You had a feeling it would be coming around, but you knew the rain would always fall.
You slowly forget over the years what made you like this. You kind of realised that nothing in this life loved you.
Joking about fate and the invisible pen that wrote your path used to stab your chest, you were just sick of losing.
It’s a cold feeling this pain, the icy wind blows warm air in comparison, but in darkness your aches can see.
Wishing I can turn your way, this highway is congested and it’s impossible to take you far away.
You wanted to play a game, but not the way life played you, like a hurricane, it had its own way.
By yourself at home
They attacked you
And left you all alone
A picture stuck inside of my head, a girl with a sad smile, her mouth moved and she said, "I have walked for many miles, this life, my whole life walking in denial. There has been little to no opportunities to hold someone or to feel like someone cared."
At times we want to find redemption in isolation but we are closing off the world. Sometimes running away and keeping a fair distance from the rest of humanity sounds too complicated to become a creative exception. But you still find yourself obligated to find a certain solution so you don’t have to suffer from confusion.
It hurts too much, this pain, all too familiar. So, you tell yourself, "How do I set myself free?"
As you walk alone in this world, with all these illusions, you find it hard to see.
Slowly fighting for perfection, everything you tried to do was lost, nothing came to you and when it did, it was at great cost.
You asked for help and you offered them your hand, but you soon realised you received nothing but neglect. Your hand retreats in an instant as if you touched the burning stove without knowing it had been on for hours.
Would you feel better if you just wrote them a letter?
At times you wandered in your maze of isolation. You tried closing off the world, but that didn’t keep you away from humanity. It is complicated and you realised you were not the exception. You weren’t that creative to find a solution, but you felt obligated to feel the confusion.
Would you feel better if you were by her side? You know, together?
Would you give her a helping hand? You hear this faint voice, "Don’t forget her."
Her head held high, with so much to cry as the tears drowned her view, her hope about to die.
Do you feel better? She feels so much better.
This letter never received, it was stuck between the Sun’s burning stare. Tears have dried up and she didn’t feel any better from all this crying.
Don’t forget her, you should have been together.
Taking a more philosophical approach to my writing, I want to explore the fundamentals of life through a different perspective. Narrowing down the essence of existence of human beings and analysing the possibilities for possible answers.
Either a series of abstract short stories or a novel based on the different emotions, behaviours and exact thoughts of everyday events and human psychology. An emphasis on appreciation and what is often left unnoticed because of the busy life routine.
This could also take a form of conversations between two characters asking questions and exploring answers about time, love, good vs. bad, various emotions, how people think in certain situations, death etc.
The novel will be a non-fiction debate over questions of life that are thought provoking and not obvious. They could spark from walking into town and viewing the surrounding and explaining and debating how all the strange things go neglected; the blind spot for everyday wanders that live there.
Research will need to be done on the psychology of different types of emotions and behaviour, concepts in philosophy and observing human interaction between social gatherings and other crowd populated areas.
One of the requirements needed to get into Master of Creative Media (Creative Writing) at RMIT University, a project proposal was needed to be submitted. This was mine back in 2009. I have no problems sharing this with you.
- Michael Daaboul
I’m waiting for you on top of this mountain every time the night arrives.
I watch stars that go by, some of which have been dead for a long while, but the stars’ light have finally made the trip to Earth to say hello for the last time.
I match the stars to form a picture of you, but the night disappears before I can finish.
I go home when I hear the birds sing, that means I should get back, but I do it all over again until I find you.
I don’t know what happened to you, without a hint to go by and no reason for a goodbye.
I decided to do what I knew best and wait on top of this mountain, your favourite place on Earth, where we used to match the stars to form portraits of you and I.
I’m standing on top of a car as the Sun is about to rise. I feel a cool breeze that pushes right through.
The waves of the ocean climb the rocks high enough to catch my eyes. The waves, like hands, reach out.
The wind allows me to enjoy this moment before it bends the branches on the trees. I spread my arms out like an eagle, for a moment, I feel like I have wings. Closing eyes in hope the wind has similar thoughts. I am disappointed I can’t fly. I can’t reach the sky but that didn’t matter. It was that calm thought that sent my mind soaring, a sense of being free, that feeling of being me.
The Sun rises and the warmth is welcoming, the wind grabs hold of my hand as I fall, the wind whispers, "Hold on."
They call me Bill.
I’m like everyone else, walking as the world stood still. Always satisfied; my life made up of simple things.
They told them to multiply, to fuel human hunger. Most were left staring at the sky.
Everyone forced into plunder. A system ruled by shadows.
A kingdom forgotten and never knowing how it slipped by. They couldn’t make decisions, they never could. Inability to use such functions of the human brain exploded their comprehension.
“I’m Bill; I’m like everyone else until I stopped walking and noticed what surrounded me.”
“I’m Frank; I’m like everyone else. I stopped breathing when I sank. Have you met my friend Bill? Apparently he stood still.”
Female: What are you talking about?
Bill/Frank: What happened?
Female: Are you feeling okay?
Bill/Frank: Where is…
Female: Eat your dinner.
Bill/Frank: What happened?
“They call me Bill, hello everyone; I suffered from amnesia from an accident. They said I did it for the thrill.”
"What did I do?"
Female: Today we have Bill and Frank joining us. Please make them feel welcomed.
Applause vibrates the hollow room.
“Hi, they call me Frank, I suffer from a damaged heart, and they said it’s failing. It’s getting broken. I can’t repair it you see; I don’t have that much money in the bank. They said it’s going to be expensive to fix a heart.”
Female: Who is she?
Bill/Frank: She was just here…
Female: You must be dreaming! You just woke up!
Bill/Frank: They caught me…
Female: Who are 'they?'
Bill/Frank: They fell from the sky…
"Hi there, they call me Life, hello world. I was like Bill and Frank, but, unlike them, I couldn’t control my own way. Everything fell down when I tried to turn things around. They found out they were part of something perfectly designed, they couldn’t turn anything around…"
Bill couldn’t remember what his Mum’s name was after the accident she abandoned him. The amnesia removed all traces of her.
Frank didn’t know his wife divorced him; he is in the United States trying to find treatment for his heart condition.
Bill worked for average pay
Frank didn’t know what to say
Bill stood still
For this reason he always went to the bank
To try and fix something that was broken
With money he couldn’t find
He slowly declined
Bill was on average pay
Frank just didn’t know what to say anymore
Bill just couldn’t pay anymore
Frank’s emotions just couldn’t feel anymore
"Hi, I’m Bill’s Mum and Frank’s wife, I never really spoke to Bill or Frank after the incidents, Life told me to swear to keep a promise in return that one day everything will be fair. That’s what Life said, I swear, that’s what they all said."
"Life was not fair."
It’s always the little things that no one gets to see.
When you have run out of credit you drive down to the petrol station in your boxers to recharge your mobile phone to send a happy birthday message just before it hits midnight.
You don’t have a Facebook account to send a message because you only keep in contact with your close friends only. You have no desire to add everyone you meet in the world in the constant quest of achieving a high friend score or to advertise where you have checked in as if to please your covetous stalkers. You would rather enjoy where you are with your company rather than taking out your phone to see the latest status updates from people you don’t care about.
You enjoy a moment to yourself amused at the thought of wishing you had an account to check in to the toilet and realise it’s not all that ridiculous when the social network isn’t abused.
It might be a last minute gift that you go out in your pyjamas to the mall where you spend hours without having breakfast to find something special for her. You’re lightheaded and people are looking at you like you’re a bum off the streets and make awkward looking faces at you as if you’re a complex Rubik’s Cube and can’t quite figure it out. You haven’t shaved, you’re frustrated and you make a little scene. This time the security guards have an awkward look on their faces and their hands are close to their two-way radios hinting for backup in case you turn into the Hulk. You’re aware of this, you start to calm down and from the corners of your eyes, you find the most ideal present.
You walk up to the counter and you open your wallet. The employee at the checkout sees a few $100 notes in there and starts to think you’re a criminal that has mugged a few people on your way to the store. You can’t possibly have that much money if you wear those clothes and haven’t shaved.
You realise the employee’s hesitation and wonder if success is measured in what you wear in public or how well groomed you are.
Surviving your encounter at the mall, a few hours have passed with enough time to wear your nice shirt, clean pair of jeans and you didn’t forget to shave.
You make it to the birthday party and you don’t tell her what has happened. You’re exhausted, you just say you had a busy day at work, she will smile and she will never know what extent you went through to make it perfect for her and that you discovered impressions is all about how good you look.
Stuck on an island with nothing to see
You can walk up to the sand
Standing next to a tree
Think about your future
Wearing something you have never seen
Feels a little surreal
In a place you have never been
Take a picture of the stars
They’re alive for a moment
In space playing their guitars
The music takes a hold of you
Feeling so new
On an island
That’s afraid of you
The sky drops a ladder
Right in front of you
Drops like feathers
In spite of all your failures
Take a picture of this scene
The rain falls between
Your dreams wiped
By a windscreen
Thinking about your future
The strangest thing happened
I was awakened
By the storm in front of me
Trying to break free
This island torn apart
Listening to Mozart
The strangest thing happened
He was a man
Without a heart
Tell me please
What’s this all about
A madman from the start
Drinking away your dreams, forgetting what you mean
Imported satisfaction, a losing dream
You’re angry at the fact you’re losing steam
Set yourself back several years
You’re young and you have no dreams
Drinking satisfaction, you’re losing sleep
You have no one, not a single fleet
Your senses bombarded, you’re a losing cheap
You’re young and you’re tired
You’re ending, your drinking has expired
You’re the blame, a miserable sheep
You’re blind drunk in Melbourne
With no dreams, you’re losing sleep