winter knight

I never knew what it was like to have feet that touched the ground.

You made me feel so high, right up next to the Sun in the clear sky, I felt your heart was so warm, no matter how hard the Sun tried to radiate, it was never enough.

The winter came, froze the fire inside and took you. I fell from the sky, it seemed I was falling in slow motion, the arrow of time would keep me hanging there for a while, the last thread of time, the main ingredient of eternity.

Lighting and rain painted my emotions and for the first time I met fear, dark and overwhelming, my feet touched the ground and I ran for my life.

My realisation that the magic died that winter’s night ripped any hope I had left, cut my soul and the bloody tracks were washed away by the rain.

As a reminder, the thunder would roar caution throughout the world, the flashes flicker throughout my retina and in moments of fierce storms I am reminded of the dark horse, the winter knight that clipped my wings.

Right after the calm, the calamity was relentless, the judgement day of a broken heart, in my time of tempestuous and engulfing darkness.

2013 (new year special)

I have something to tell you, but I’m afraid if I did, you wouldn’t want to be friends anymore.

I get this funny feeling inside, and I promised myself that I will not let it get in the way of what we have.

It is so hard to find a friend like you, good friends are hard to come by.

I have fallen in love with you and I’m afraid that if I told you, you wouldn’t feel the same and if I told you, our friendship will never feel this way again.

I have become so used to you. I don’t want to know anyone new.

I’m not sure if this is a letter to you or a memory stuck in one of my thoughts, but I hope this reaches you, wherever you may be.

I am so afraid of losing you that I forgot to tell you how much you mean to me. I’m not sure where you are right now, but if you can hear me, please come back home. It has been so long, that I forgot what it was like to see how your smile made me feel… it has been so long, that I have forgotten how your smile made me feel.

It has been so long that the years have continued to end and I have forgotten how you made me feel and now it feels like 2013 will leave a gaping hole in my stomach. I’ll walk around on New Year’s Eve while the people call me a freak on the streets and I will shy away from their ignorance of not knowing what I’m suffering from.

I’m afraid that when the clock hits midnight, history will be sealed and everything that I have done will be lost and our friendship scrambled within the words.

Hello 2013, it looks like we’re going to be here for a while, just you and me.

Save me.

this is not a test

All the nights will be rough.

You will experience pain mentally.

Physically you should be fine, however, there may be cracks in your heart.

This is not a test.

This is real life.

Do you understand?

Do you understand we can’t put a number on these nights?

During the day, you will feel some relief. We’re not monsters.

I’m sorry, I do apologise. That’s a lie. We are monsters.

We can’t guarantee your nightmare won’t follow you into the day.

Don’t worry, physically you should be fine.

We’re not sure when this will be over, but when you reach the end, you will be on your own. You will look up into the stars and you will be greeted by silence. You feel like you’re a million miles away and you will be alone.

You’re alone now and you will be alone later.

This is the pain you need to go through. This is the world, what did you expect?

This is how you will live, you will think that it’s not too late for things to get better.

You will have times where you will think everything will be alright.

Is this what you expected?

Who will know that YOU are in pain?

My advice to you is stay alive, please do not take your life, it’s not worth it.

As I said, you will experience pain, this is not a test.

Like the rest of the world, I am a monster, I’m here to tell you the truth, it will NOT be alright.

a legendary dream (over 100k page views to the blog special)

Saddened voices and brittle joints, the end of the horizon seems near.

In these deserted lands where wilder beasts roam and jokers lurk, the hesitant nomads wonder alone.

The nomad carries a journal filled with empty notes with a semi broken spine. He empties his words through thought and imagines the page becoming full of hope of past dreams.

The nomad is no different than the average nomad you find in exiled worlds, he is merely, ordinary. Like many before and many after, he had a vision of fortune and success.

The nomad spends entire moments in awe and dazed over possibilities that are so variable, even the joker fits in laughter of such ridiculous visions. It’s fate often taunted on a line of thick and elusive string dangling from the heavens teasing and reminding nomads of an oasis in waiting. This dubbed as an oasis is thought to be the work and masterstroke of the devil.

In addition to their fragile state of body and soul, the nomads are laid to rest ever only achieving imaginary outcomes from a world dry and barren from any opportunities. The jokers feed off their struggle and are amused for the rest of their life.

For the jokers, their purpose are for the nomads, but the nomad wonders on a purpose of fulfilling a legendary dream.

A special post to mark over 100,000 page views and over 46,000 unique visitors to the blog. Thanks for reading!
- Michael Daaboul

candy man

I’m trying to understand the meaning, the truth that sets us aside. You’re over there and I’m here, we’re separated, showing malaise and subsiding while walking away from what made us.

I have ignored life and the years have ignored me, and the time has come where I wonder where these years have gone.

In suffering and this far-off, safe journey of bad news, this soul is stricken and haemorrhaging.

Raining shivers fall over my chest and the candy-scented man across the hospital passageway said, “I told you son, it’s just the way life is. You’re not here for very long. Don’t worry about it, you have a strong heart, but it’s not strong enough. Go see what the world has to show you before you leave.”

There was no remorse left but sinking ships inside my stomach, the captains are waving the white flag, the seas are too rough, it’s pretty bad if they’re surrendering.

Behind the car park, there was no one left that I could talk to, I was left to be a slave to disease and it seems the world has forgotten me too. I walk high roads, they’re so tall, but I can see a light at the peak. It’s the Sun, merely lurking around the corners trying to keep me warm.

Having some kind of hope, something that comes in handy with no real happy ending or maybe a miracle is taking over, I need something. You need hope.

I guess the candy man was right, don’t worry about it. There’s no stopping it, there’s no relief, just keep going, and see the world!

This is part of a routine to find a meaning to give to a purpose of living. Without any responsibilities, it’s foolish to think we wouldn’t want to be stripped down of any worry and worry wanting to be stripped down of fear.

Disease will hit when everything feels like you have been travelling well and disease will hit when everything is falling.

The past might have took me into hiding showing me a vintage memory of nostalgia, but when hope is falling, I will catch it.

memento mori

Just by the water, I sat on the bench looking over the horizon.

It was silent and the world seemed like it will never end.

The sky kept on going, looming away into the distance.

That’s how I remember that day, no matter how far I was able to see, it felt like there was no end.

Even though I felt my heartache, I looked over the horizon and something inside of me changed. It’s as if someone had said, “Everything will be alright.”

When I came down from the hill, I felt the anxiousness creep up and the heartache … over the hill the sky kept moving forward, going further into the distance as I looked back for one more time, holding on to each breath.

For a moment there, I swear I heard the world say, “Everything will be alright.”

finding words

Don’t forget words when words never seem to forget you.

When you need to write a letter, the words will lay bare on paper.

When you’re called to give a speech, words will entertain your audience.

When remembering your friend who has passed away on their anniversary, words will fill your heart.

You may not be a wordsmith, you may not be a wandering poet, and you don’t really need to be anything at all to use words.

You don’t need to be educated; you don’t need to be famous to change the world with an ink drop of a pen or multiple presses on a keyboard.

You don’t need a reason to make someone smile with your words. You can take them to worlds that don’t exist. You can create what isn’t there and you can climb a ladder to imaginary heights.

If you’re finding it difficult to find words, you don’t need to worry, if you don’t forget them, the words will find you.

nostalgia captured

If you remember me, I won’t be far away.

If you create the person that I used to be inside of your mind, I will always live there, I will always exist.

Take an old washed out vintage picture of my smiling portrait and remember what it felt like, let the nostalgia consume and surround your body. I might be gone and I know it has been a long time now, but that doesn’t mean I’m gone from your memory.

Walk outside where the tall trees watch over you and dream. There will be no one there but a vast network of green grass falling under the hills that kiss the horizon.

It’s a beautiful day, no clouds in sight and no one is around. For a moment, forget that you’re mortal and hold me for just one more time. If the past comes rushing by, if the world started to rewind and if nostalgia has invaded your consciousness, take a deep breath and float towards the sky.

You won’t know what’s going on, neither do I, but you will be by my side and time, time will hold you still.

And for a moment, you forgot you were mortal and felt a piece paradise overwhelm you. It’s what you always wanted, to see those that have moved on, to go back into the past and live again.

The aching heart moves on, but it doesn’t want to. There’s no choice, we move forward. From time to time you will look back and see if someone is looking back at you while you’re walking away. Whoever you want it to be. Disappointment sweeps over you.

I’m not here anymore, I have gone. You can remember, but I can’t promise I will as you will fade away and it will feel as if we had never met.

This vision is innocent and youthful, but truth be told, this will only happen when you’re old and taking the last gasps of life before you sleep again. You will remember when you were in your twenties, the best time of your life where you contemplated the rest of your life and felt indestructible. How the time has flown by.

If you remember me, I won’t be far away. Just before you sleep, remember what it feels like to long for something that has past and you will be captured inside the nostalgia forever.