The Psychologist, the Boyfriend and the Wandering Heart
Psychologist: What’s your greatest fear?
Boyfriend: Um, hmm… greatest fear. Spiders?
Psychologist: Well, yes, but what about in your life if something was taken away or if you lost your job, elements like that.
Boyfriend: Aah, I see what you mean. I think it would be my girlfriend. If she wakes up one day, looks at me and thinks I don’t want him by my side anymore. That she will fall out of love. That would be the hardest thing doc.
Psychologist: Why do you fear this?
Boyfriend: I don’t know, maybe because I love her so much and that one day it will probably happen. You know you hear about it, read articles about it that your relationship has like a 10 year lifespan. I don’t want to start again like that.
Psychologist: What are you doing about it?
Boyfriend: What do you mean?
Psychologist: If you fear it, what are you doing to reduce the likelihood of your girlfriend falling out of love?
Psychologist: That’s the problem. Not you of course, but fearing something and letting fear overwhelm your existence. Why not do something about it?
Boyfriend: What should I do?
Psychologist: Continue being you. She fell in love with you. Don’t change who you are. Don’t show any less emotion than you did when you first met. Don’t stop doing all the things you love doing together. Remember when you first started to date? When you spent two hours in front of the mirror making sure your hair is right, trying to find the perfect place to go for weeks, researching on the internet. Maybe you were lurking on internet forums getting advice if you should get a gift or not. All those things, especially the part where you spent hours upon hours looking inside each other’s universes and talking about everything that makes your eyes light up. People fail in relationships because they forget who they are in a relationship. They’re so overwhelmed with fear and worry they miss the good parts. They fall into routine, forget about their partners emotionally, become boring, needy and desperate until one day, one of them wants out.
Boyfriend: Jesus, I didn’t think of it like that.
Psychologist: Most of the time, it’s the simplest answer that will get you there. It got you there at the start, why wouldn’t it meet you at the end?