Life As A Writer

Michael Daaboul. 26 y/o from Australia/Melbourne. Digital Designer & Creative Writer.

What Missing You Sounds Like

I’m sorry that I didn’t do enough.

I want you to know that each day hurts without you.

I feel you’re fading away from my mind, but not from my heart. My heart won’t let you go and it holds on to you with claws anchored in as if losing you will cut open a wound so large it would flutter an abnormal rhythm from every chamber. All the contractions will be in shock, the lower chambers will hum the Valley of Death and the music to my ears, and how your smile looks to my eyes will all be out of sync.

I hope that you will come back to me and we can start again.

But you are gone.

You are gone.

Cut open and flutter abnormally a rhythm and dance with me in the lower chambers, and you walked with me holding my hands in the Valley of Death and left me all out of sync.

What is there to do?
What is there to see?
I don’t want to be stuck in the ordinary
I don’t want to be a victim of the routine.

I don’t want a 9 to 5 job
I want to be different.

I want to disappear into your arms
I want you to take me away.

Show me a place where no one has been
Show me the place where your heart has been.

Show me, you.
Naked.

Show me what it’s like to dance between your legs
Show me what it’s like to touch you.

Michael Daaboul

The Day I Decided to be Broken

Why did I stay?

I have never seen a mind quite like this one. I couldn’t sense her; I couldn’t feel what she was, or what she was feeling. I couldn’t read her.

Naturally, I wanted to know more. I was instantly pulled towards her, she fascinated me. She baffled my understanding, my logic, everything I knew, when I looked at her, I felt like I knew nothing.

I had this howling desire to be with her. And I did just that, I hurled my entire existence in her direction, every part of me. It was an obsession, it was freedom, all strangely intertwining together, kissing and being stubborn all at the same time.

Nothing about me or her, or our unbending minds could change it, both strong and weak, soaking up every moment.

All I did was let my emotional universe become consumed, I let it become, in its entirely, completely consumed. My mind had an equal, every thought expanded to the point I had no more understanding of what was happening.

This whole situation was awfully blemished, but she was there, larger than the planet itself, looking straight at me; this one person, precarious and so fragile.

I knew from the beginning that she would destroy me and for a fleeting moment that seemed to last a lifetime, it didn’t bother me. Every emotional tug-of-war and every crack that surfaced, I didn’t mind. My mind was feeding from the calamity from her lips and my whole existence was one with her.

Why did I stay? I stayed because I wanted to be broken, I wanted to be destroyed in such a way that I didn’t recognise who I was anymore. I was terminal, emotionally exhausted and weak. There was nothing left of me which was the perfect opportunity to evolve into something much more. How well did I know myself? How could I become someone else in a state of crisis?

I thought I knew who I was, but, I knew nothing at all.

What Nostalgia Sounds Like

I used to write to you all of this cute stuff that only you would understand. I would put a goofy emoticon at the end, because I would be smiling; and I know you would have a goofy smile on your face reading my silly stuff.

I will then ask you how your day is going. If you slept okay last night? Talk to you about all the small details. I will read with such curiosity, my eyes would anxiously wait for every detailed letter from your fingertips. I won’t reply back straight away, but you’re as bad as me, and we both can’t wait more than a few minutes before breaking and reply back at the exact same time!

I will tell you that I need to get you a gift because your birthday is soon and you try to guess what kind of gift I will get you. You know I’m not going to tell you, but it’s your cute way of dropping small hints. Then I will tell you I can’t believe it’s almost DECEMBER, and we’ll both lay down and wonder where has the time gone? Then we’ll talk about our little adventures putting up the Christmas tree and you will tell me about your special arrangements with all the decorations.

After all of that nonsense, I will quietly tell you how beautiful you are and you will be silent for a few seconds as if you heard the most amazing melodic lyric you have ever heard and you can’t reply but faint just a little inside.

Anonymous asked:
can i request a piece please? i really enjoy your style of writing, i would love to read from your words whats it like staying in a relationship you probably shouldn't be in. i feel like i can relate to everything you write, thank youu!!!
I might not understand how hard this is for you, I’m not sure what you’re going through. I’m not even sure if you sleep at night. I’m not sure if you wish that you had someone to talk to at 3 A.M. When I look into your eyes, I know everything is not okay, they tell me more than words ever could. You’re not alone in this.
Michael Daaboul

What Love Sounds Like

You have always looked so amazing, if there ever comes a day where I don’t love you anymore, I want you to know that everything I said wouldn’t have been a lie.

It was real once upon a time.

I know it’s sad, we won’t be how we used to be. I will miss how we used to be, just like the first time that I saw you. We will remember how we laughed nervously and when our laughing fit has subsided, you would look at me, like really look at me and without saying a single word, your heart will sync to the beat of mine.

I can’t really remember, but I think you will hold me tight and you won’t let me go, always and forever you would say, and I will always love you, but forever is not such a long time when you say it.

You know, there’s not much point to your love when you have disappeared from my life. What exactly are you loving? The memory of me? The history?

Life is not about who you have had, the history, it’s about your ongoing experiences, who you will spend eternity with. Your distant love is a word. Your sentence, your text messages, your feelings are in the moment.

What does your love sound like next year?

If there ever comes a day when the routine becomes a loud echo, you will become boring and annoying. When you become nasty and a miserable wrecking ball, you will compare yourself to your friends. When the whole world is moving forward and you’re standing still, you will start questioning the relationship you’re in. If you’re not growing and your mind is a wretched mess, you will run away.

Your love is weak like me. You’re fragile like me.

Who are you looking for when love sounds like me?

I look forward to seeing you happy. Your quirky smile, the way your eyes squint when the Sun shines too bright. That thing you do with your lips when you look away from me when you’re too shy to look straight into my eyes. Your cheeks blush and your eyes look down. You try to look back at me, but it happens all over again. I sit opposite you, hoping the world stops spinning and time leaves us, in this moment, in this moment … I miss our moments. They never seem to last long enough, it was never enough.
Michael Daaboul
Don’t forget to enjoy the journey, sometimes all the anticipation, the work you have done, the decisions you have made and the dream of reaching the stars is what’s so gratifying. Then you reach your goal and it’s a little underwhelming, you’re content, but it feels like something is missing. Everything you have been through, all the pain and the aches of your heart brought you here. Don’t forget about the journey, never forget. It’s what you should be aiming for, to enjoy the ride. The goal is the end result of everything you have done before.
Michael Daaboul
If we could just cuddle and ignore the noise, if I could lay down with you, I would think that’s the best thing in the world. Holding, touching you and looking into your eyes, noticing the calm look in your eyes while you look into mine. In that moment of silence, when you didn’t believe that heaven exists, we were living in it.
Michael Daaboul

WHEN A COMFORTING LIE NO LONGER COMFORTS
AND THE TRUTH IS NO LONGER BURIED
EMOTIONS RISE TO THE FRAGILE SURFACE
DROWNING THE HEART AND MIND WITH SADNESS

DISAPPOINTED WITH WHAT COULD NOT REMAIN
AND WITH A WEAKNESS THE COULD NOT DEFEND
REJECTION FLOWS FROM TAINTED TRUTHS
THAT HOUSED AND FED A COMFORTING LIE

WHAT LIES BENEATH THE PAINTED SURFACE
WILL SHOW AS IT’S WEATHERED AWAY
SO A COMFORTING LIE CAN ONLY HARBOUR
AS LONG AS THE TRUTH IS SET TO SAIL

Charles Daaboul
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