In this moment of darkness, I will not see the terror that’s unfolding around me. I have learned to close my eyes and curl into a ball. I hold myself tightly in the corner and I cry because I can’t take this anymore.
You can’t see me because I have turned off the lights. No one will be able to tell if I’m sick because I smile when they ask if I’m alright.
Where have I been? Where do I go? You may ask. I haven’t journeyed far from my room; I haven’t seen the world from the peak of Hanging Rock. I have been sitting in my room waiting for the light, a light that never came.
I know if I don’t speak, if I don’t seek help, no one will suspect a thing, and it will be my friend darkness and me, sitting in the corner where the cold air leaks and my maddening thoughts speak.
For when the morning comes, you will lose your best friend; you will lose someone you hold so deep. You will see me lying in the corner with a heavy heart and when you feel my unrhythmic pulse, you will be heartbroken. Everyone else that loves me will lose their hope, their will to live and I, will remain unspoken.
For all the joy and kindness I gave, I didn’t receive any for when I went the other way. When I sort out those who needed help and got them to pray, I made a deal with the Devil and sold my sanity on a midsummer’s day.
Tribute to Robin Williams who died on August 11, 2014.
- Michael Daaboul
Tear me apart and say that you wanted me forever.
All the words that I could have said and all the moments that we spent together got washed away.
When it rains, I have no more reasons to be here and the light doesn’t want to find the darkness anymore.
My shadows are fighting to stay alive, but my scars are there for all to see.
All those memories that we had made, is all I can remember, when you said you wanted me to last forever.
I can’t see what you see, when you tore those words apart and all the secrets that fell like rain across my chest.
I kept on waiting standing in the middle of nowhere and forever, but your words left scars on me.
After all these years, they became the wounds that never healed, stuck in the middle of nowhere holding on to the thought of what you used to be.
I didn’t know when I would arrive; I didn’t know what path I was going to take. But, I knew where I wanted to go and I could see a beautiful horizon from the summit.
Every path seemed dangerous, they all intertwined; some were broken. It really showed the delicate path and tenuous nature finding love could be.
I didn’t just sit on the summit and wait, I was looking for someone who understood what I wanted and reflected my values.
They would be on the same page as me and we could turn each page together. I liked that idea so much; I didn’t mind how many times I fell on rocks or how many cuts and bruises I would get.
It would all be worth it.
4 Years Later
When you spoke, you didn’t lie to me.
You didn’t go with the status quo, you waited for love, and you waited for me.
I held your waist and I spun you around while we danced during the night. I held your hand; we walked through the park and came out by the empty city streets.
With all of this, you cared at every part. Your eyes looked at me like they wanted to read every thought I had. Everything we did meant so much to you. Every detail, you cared about everything, you had qualities that I thought had been gone for a long time.
When I looked at you, I told you about the path I took. You replied with the same story.
It was only a matter of time before I could call you mine.