Life As A Writer

Michael Daaboul. 26 y/o from Australia/Melbourne. Digital Designer & Creative Writer.

Who Broke You?

Her: What's your emotional state like?
Him: What's it like?
Him: I can't tell you what it's like. I don't think you deserve to be put through that.
Her: Who broke you?
Him: Who?
His Thoughts: She looks concerned.
Her: As long as I have you, that's all I need.
His Thoughts: Those eyes, she looks so concerned.
Her: Who broke you?
His Thoughts: I can't answer that can I? She's so serious.
Her: WHO BROKE YOU?! WHO?
Him: What does it matter? I invited her in. She came inside. My home. She smiled. She walked slowly, smiling. Breaking everything in sight, especially my windows. She's looking at me with those cunning eyes. That smirk on her face as if it was saying, yeah, I hate your guts, but I just want to have my way with you, fuck you, yeah, like that, pissing me off, treating me like dirt. But first, I'll smash the wooden floors, I'll break the kitchen sink and break the toilet. I will shit on your world and everything you love, because; I love it. Love treating you like a piece of . . .
When I stare at this empty sofa with the TV on, I remember cuddling you, with your whole world around me, with your quick gaze and smile, with your body saying hello to me. This is where the pain begins, because when I turn my head towards you, for a moment you’re there, but you become faded. When I put my arms around you, for a split second I can feel you, but I go through you. When I turn the TV off, I can see the pain watching me. In this dark room, my world means nothing again.
Michael Daaboul
I know this seems like it’s too much, all this shit happened when we were together, but it’s a test, I promise you it’s a test. If you could hang on, we’ll get through this. I need you to hang on. Wait, don’t walk away from me … please wait. I waited for you on top of the hill that day, I waited through night and day, and when you arrived, you saw my silhouette as the Sun was rising. Do you remember? When you whispered to me that I was the only shadow that followed your heart.
Michael Daaboul
I thought I had you, and that’s where I lost it all. Everything that I was doing right fell apart because I thought I was in control. No, I didn’t know what you were going through, all the time I spent looking into your eyes, and I still didn’t know what was going on. I would walk through fire to get to you, and continue to fall down below. You have let me go, when I was yours, you have let me go for so long without a word; don’t, don’t tell me now, that you still love me so.
Michael Daaboul
I don’t need to touch you to be close. I’m close when you’re the first person I think about in the morning and the last, when I sleep. You’re in my dreams; you’re in my every thought. I’m close to you when I’m giving all of my attention to you, when everyone else wants it too. I’m close to you when I fear in the middle of the night and come running to you to speak about my ambitions and concerns. Even when I’m distracted, I’m focused completely on you.
Michael Daaboul
I’m bitter because you don’t understand. Yes, I am frightened, I’m scared the whole time I was here, I feared that she would go. I had nightmares of her dying, and in those dreams I spent my entire life figuring out how to bring her back to life; alchemy, chemistry, magic, whatever it took. They told me to move on, but they didn’t know what it was like laying eyes on her for the very first time. I felt my entire existence was made just for this moment when I kissed her.
Michael Daaboul
I didn’t know. She came to me full of enthusiasm. She was in love. She looked at me in a way that made me feel like I was the most important person on the planet. She was mine. I could have held her, I could of conquered foreign places with her, and I could have been the one she thought about. I was too naïve, I wasn’t thinking about her, I was thinking about everything else. She’s gone now, and just like that, the cruelty of understanding how selfish I am, was made clear to me.
Michael Daaboul
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